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FAQs

  • Can big toys or fisting cause any long-term health issues?
    Big toys or fisting can be harmful if you don’t take the necessary steps to prepare. Never force big toys into your rectum, and don’t try fisting too fast. Your sphincter muscle needs time to stretch and adapt to bigger equipment. Anal dialation exercises with butt plugs can help to begin stretching the sphincter muscle. Over time, continue to progress to bigger toys, always starting with the smallest and working your way up to the biggest in a session. Big toys and fisting can lead to long-term health issues if you force anything or go too quickly. Foundations are necessary here. Here's a YouTube video on some foundations for prepping for big equipment:
  • Is rimming (analingus) safe?
    Rimming is arguably safer than anal sex. Just make sure all people involved do a quick rinse in the shower. Fecal matter contains bacteria and it’s best to keep that bacteria out of your mouth. There is typically no need to douche for rimming. If you would like a tutorial on how to rim better, watch the video below:
  • Is it okay to share toys or a douche with your partner?
    It is possible to share toys or a douche with your partner, but you’ll need to make sure all toys and bulbs are appropriately cleaned out before and after use. If your partner has an STI like chlamydia or genital herpes, you’ll want to avoid sharing toys to reduce the risk of spreading infection.
  • Is there a time limit for how long I should wear a butt plug?
    For most people, wearing a butt plug all day isn’t a problem! Just never leave your house with one inside of you. Sometimes your body will talk to you and say “it’s time to take this out right now!” and you don’t want to be in a place where you can’t take it out. Never sleep with a butt plug in, either. You want to be aware of anything your body is trying to tell you and those sensations will be muted if you’re asleep.
  • What’s the real tea with poppers? Good, bad, or acceptable?
    This is not medical advise and is for educational purposes only. The long-term effects of using poppers are not clear. If you are going to use them, here are some tips for your safety: Never use poppers to prepare/stretch/loosen to bottom! Spend time preparing to bottom without poppers so you can assure your muscles are properly stretched out and relaxed. Sniffing a popper to do the work for you in the beginning can disguise pain and discomfort during sex, leading to anal fissures. Never drink poppers or get them in your mouth. This can be fatal. Never get poppers on your skin. This can cause rashes and lesions. Poppers can cause increased heart rate, headaches, dizziness and fainting. Never mix poppers with Viagra or other erectile dysfunction drugs; the combination can cause a drop in blood pressure that can lead to a stroke or death. Always bring your own bottle to a hookup’s house for safety.
  • Does bottoming increase my chance of contracting colon cancer?
    It’s important to remember there is a difference between colon and anal cancer. According to the Canadian Cancer Society: “No. Nothing about a person’s sexual or gender identity affects colon cancer risk or testing needs. It’s a good idea to get checked for colon cancer regardless of your sexual or gender identity.” According to the American Cancer Society, “Certain types of human papillomavirus (HPV) increase the risk of most anal cancers. HPV can also cause mouth, throat, and penile cancers in men. HPV is a very common virus that almost everyone who has had sexual contact has been infected by at least once. HPV can be spread during sexual activity – including vaginal, anal, and oral sex – or even just close skin-to-skin contact with infected areas. Condoms don't provide full protection from HPV because they don't cover all skin areas that can spread HPV. Other things that increase risk of anal cancer: Receptive anal intercourse Number of sexual partners past and present HIV infection Tobacco use Certain autoimmune disorders Recipients of a solid organ transplant”
  • How should I care for hemorrhoids?
    Sitz baths are going to be your bestie for hemorrhoid care. Epsom salt is helpful, but not necessary for a sitz bath. If you do not have a bathtub, you can buy a sitz bath attachment at your pharmacy that sits on top of your toilet seat. You’ll want to do these baths 3 times a day for about 15 minutes for optimal results. Additionally, staying hydrated, avoiding alcohol, and using products like Preparation H will help with inflammation, pain, and healing.
  • Can you bottom with a hemorrhoid?
    If you have small hemorrhoid and it’s not painful, bottoming will likely be safe. Try a finger first, and then slowly progress. However, if you have a painful hemorrhoid, bottoming can aggravate and potentially worsen your existing hemorrhoids. If you have a painful hemorrhoid, it’s best to avoid bottoming until the problem goes away (typically 2 weeks with the right treatment).
  • Can I bottom while on SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors AKA antidepressants)?
    In most cases, SSRIs won’t impact your ability to bottom! SSRIs can impact libido, but if you’re feeling horny, have at it. Communicate with your partner (yes, even a hookup) to manage expectations and let them know you may take longer to stimulate, an orgasm may not happen, and share any other concerns you may have. Make sex more about the journey, not the destination.
  • I pee when I bottom. Is this normal? Are there any ways to prevent this?
    It is normal to feel an urge to pee when you bottom. Your bladder is right up against your prostate and when you’re bottoming, your prostate is getting a lot of stimulation. That stimulation can affect your bladder, making it feel like you need to go to the bathroom. If you do actually pee, you could have bladder incontinence. This means your pelvic floor muscles are weak. Kegel exercises are one of the best ways to start strengthening your pelvic floor and prevent peeing while bottoming.
  • What should tops know about bottoming?
    Bottoming takes time. No, I don’t mean douching. I mean it legitimately takes time for the muscles to stretch and relax which tells your nervous system, “Hey, this is safe!” If sex is rushed or too intense right out of the gate, this can lead to injury. Tops should also take time to learn how to use their pelvis during sex. Pounding can be fun, but everyone can get a lot more out of sex if the top learns how to use their pelvis to control the depth and speed of sex.
  • How can I properly prepare for anal if I have IBS or colitis?
    IBS and colitis shouldn't get in the way of you bottoming. For a more detailed answer, watch the video linked below.
  • Does taking PrEP affect preparation for anal play?
    No one wants to have abdominal cramps while prepping to bottom. When first taking PrEP, it’s possible to have symptoms of stomach pain or cramps. However, these symptoms are supposed to go away soon after getting adjusted to your PrEP. Outside of these symptoms, PrEP should not affect your preparation for anal sex.
  • Does anal douching reduce colon cancer?
    It’s important to know that there is a difference between colon and anal cancer. Currently there is no link to anal douching and colon cancer. However, anal douching can increase STI transmissions, douching dependency, and disrupt mucus production in the rectum.
  • How can I prepare to be ready for a long time, like when I’ll be out all day then head to an afterparty?
    Fiber is key for keeping your bum ready for bottoming all day. Besides fiber’s ability to bulk your stool and sweep your colon of residue, fiber also keeps you regular. Regularity is your bestie when it comes to bottoming. Once you are more in tune with your regularity, you can have a better game plan to be out and about for the day. For example, you’ve been taking fiber supplements for a month now, your diet is pretty consistent, and you pretty much have one bowel movement every morning. If you are someone that prefers to douche, you could douche after that bowel movement and have very little worries the rest of the day. If you’re someone that has irregular bowel movements, try to start incorporating fiber supplements into your diet so that you can be in tune with your regularity. Your body is giving you info that will be vital in making future outings so much easier.
  • How do I learn to relax to bottom?
    It may sound wildly simple, but breathe! Most people are unaware of how few deep, full breaths they take throughout the day. Lack of breathing in combination with daily stressors (traffic, jobs, relationships, grocery store madness) locks up our body, especially our pelvic floor. This can lead to a very tight anal sphincter. Luckily, breathing exercises like box breathing can fix you right up. Lie on your back or on your side (with knees bent at a 90/90 angle) and inhale gently through your nose, pressing the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth so you strain your neck to breath in. Hold the top of the breathe in for as long as you inhaled. Exhale all the air out of your mouth as if you were gently sighing. Hold the bottom of the exhale for the same amount of time it took you to exhale completely. Repeat as many rounds as necessary. Epsom salt baths, warm showers, and light stretching can also work wonders for relaxing. The key is to breathe deeply through all of these activities. Here are some more ways to relax your sphincter before bottoming:
  • How can I be ready for impromptu sex, when desire strikes but I haven’t planned ahead?
    To be ready for impromptu sex, be flexible, open-minded, and try to find partners (yes, even hookups) that are empathetic. If your fiber game is strong, you’ve already had a bowel movement today, and you’ve avoided foods that trigger your unique body (by causing bloating, gas, or any sensation that makes bottoming uncomfortable), you’re most likely good to go. If any accidents occur that make you uncomfortable or unable to bottom, communicate with your partner and pivot to foreplay, oral sex, shower sex, or whatever keeps the fun moving and the shame at bay.
  • Is douching really necessary?
    Douching is not necessary, but instead is a preference. Until you feel the urge to go to the bathroom, poop is stored in the sigmoid colon (see image below) way out of reach for any penis. In fact, poop is usually not present in the rectum. With that being said, once you’ve passed a bowel movement your rectum is especially good to go for butt stuff for a long time! If you’re getting enough fiber, the fiber bulks your stool and acts like a sweeper in your colon, leaving very little residue behind. Try to prioritize fiber in your diet so that you aren’t solely relying on douching. It’s important to never ignore that “gotta go” feeling. If you feel like you need to poop, go poop! If you ignore the sensation, your rectum will relax and you won’t have that sensation again until a new stool enters the picture. Emptying your rectum naturally is one of the best ways to be sure your rectum is empty without having to douche at all. You can always use a finger or a toy to test your cleanliness first to decide if you’d like to douche or not.
  • How should I clean my douche?
    Douches made of sarolit (like ours) or silicone can be cleaned with warm water and antibacterial handsoap. Submerge the douche bulb in water, squeeze the bulb to suck up the water, give it a little shake, and leave the bulb submerged for 3 minutes. If you are using a rubber douche, we recommend swapping to a sarolit or silicone douche for optimal hygiene. Sarolit and silicone are nonporous whereas rubber is very porous, trapping bacteria and eroding the material.
  • How often should I douche?
    Ideally, you should douche no more than two or three times per week. Douching too often can disrupt the natural mucus production in your rectum and can even lead to douching dependency (throwing off bowel regularity) and chronic constipation. If you’re going to douche, remember: Less is more!
  • Is there such a thing as eating too much fiber? E.g. full-on plant-based diet then supplementing psyllium
    Yes, you can eat too much fiber, especially when taking supplements! While high-fiber foods won’t cause you problems with excessive fiber, too much fiber in supplement form can actually be counterproductive. According to Harvard Medical School, “the USDA's [daily recommended fiber] for adults up to age 50 is 25 grams for women and 38 grams for men. Women and men older than 50 should have 21 and 30 daily grams, respectively.” Going beyond these numbers using a supplement can cause constipation, bloating, and gas.
  • What’s the easiest way to get fiber into my diet?
    Eat plenty of diverse plants (lots of different-colored vegetables, fruits, and beans), whole wheat, brown rice, quinoa, nuts, and seeds. Try to make every meal a well-balanced one. Even if you’re picking up an order of wings, you can grab some celery or make a side salad at home to add some fiber.
  • How do I know which foods trigger me?
    Typically, your stomach will talk to you quickly. Many people are concerned with poop, but it takes 1-3 days for food you’re currently eating to find its way into the toilet. Gas, bloating, and abdominal pains hit you a lot quicker. Awareness is key when eating your meals because not only do you get to savor your food, but you can start to find culprits in your diet. When I’m suspicious of an ingredient, like cashews, I’ll try to find time to snack on just cashews so I can see how I feel afterwards. Suspicious of broccoli? Steam up a little this weekend and eat it on its own. Start to sub out the ingredients you are suspicious of and be aware of any changes you feel within your body. Keeping a food journal on your phone is a great way to keep track of the foods that cause you the most problems. What I do: Broccoli tears my stomach up within 30 minutes of eating it. I feel very bloated and it gives me gas for hours on end. Dairy does this to me as well. I know that if I’m at a steakhouse on a date, instead of broccoli I’ll get greenbeans and sub the mashed potatoes with french fries. Our How to Bottom with IBS video has great tips to hone in on trigger foods:
  • Is goat cheese more bottom-friendly than cow cheese?
    This depends on a few factors: Are you lactose intolerant? If yes, then goat cheese is not more bottom-friendly Are you getting enough fiber in your diet? If not, both goat cheese and cow’s cheese have zero fiber, which you will notice when it’s time to pass a bowel movement. It’s important to remember your trigger foods and intolerances, and be aware of how much fiber you’re getting. If you love cheese, it doesn’t cause you any gas, bloating, or uncomfortability, and you’re getting enough fiber from other foods, you’re probably good to go.
  • What lube is best for fingers or toys?
    The best lube for fingers is also going to be silicone. If the butt is involved, silicone lube all day, every day. The best lube for toys is going to depend on the material of the toy itself. Silicone toys require water-based lube so as to avoid degrading the silicone toy (just make sure to reapply often). Hard plastic or glass toys work best with silicone lube. Rubber toys should be avoided because they are porous and trap bacteria.
  • What lube is best for bottoming?
    Silicone lube is our preferred lube when it comes to butt stuff. Water-based lube will work for most people, but you’ll have to reapply it quite often, and it can be very sticky. Silicone lube won’t need to be reapplied as often. However, because this is anal sex we are talking about, you’ll still want to use plenty of lube no matter what lube you use. Our rule of thumb is: If you think you have enough, do 2-3 more pumps.
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